Starting to Clear

I got some better news today that quite possibly my company will NOT be shutting its doors on April 30. Long story short, I work for a small environmental company that owns patents on an AMAZING technology for disposable dinnerware made entirely from annually renewable products (i.e. potatoes, corn, and limestone). Our company was seeking investment to further this technology all year long, but with the current economic situation and the Bear Stearns collapse, selling on Wall Street is not a easy place to be, even with an amazing and proven environmental product during this “green craze”, if you will. I recognize the media’s current green frenzy sadly should not be termed or thought of as a “craze” - that hopefully we are all honestly seeking to preserve our planet - but you got to admit, green is pretty trendy right now. Just sayin'.

Anyway, in an even longer short story striving to be even shorter, an investor stepped up to the plate! Not sure where this will take me as far as my benefits and salary go since new ownership will be calling the shots, but having any job as opposed to no job in two weeks feels a hell of a lot better.

More good news - I finally completed our 2007 taxes (I know this makes me a slacker, but when you know you’re going to owe, there’s no a whole lot of motivation to file. Gone are the sweet days I used to get back a grand or more…sigh). Also, I had to file three returns this year due to the move from NC to MD (Also gone are the days I never worried about filing state income taxes…big mad props to FLA for not having state tax).

Ok, now, off to enjoy my weekend which (hopefully) will include Hitchcock revivals at the Charles(Rear Window!), free movies at the Pratt, and walking the boys in this fabulous weather. Oh yeah, I also have my very first acupuncture appointment on Sunday morning, YAY!

p.s. Dawn Powell. Read her. Now. Seriously.

State of Uncertainty

Dr. Heisenberg Magic Mirror of Uncertainty, 1998
© Duane Michels

I’m the type of person who likes to make plans, to make lists, and basically, to have a fundamental level certainty in my life. Never mind whether I see all these plans and lists to fruition, it’s the actual planning I need. The older I get the more I find I’m not such a good guesser or a “whatever will be, will be” type personality. So this current period in my life is pretty difficult for me. Not knowing what tomorrow will bring, in a “new” city (seven months in a city still finds me new, anyway), with a job that may or may not last past the end of the month and an unemployed, healing-from-surgery husband, is keeping me rather unnerved and in a state of constant anxiety.

Like I keep telling one friend of mine who’s unfortunate enough to have me unload on her day after day, I just want my life back. It’s been so long since I have known what it’s like to live day-to-day with no anxiety over what big question or predicament tomorrow will bring. And yes, I do know everything is uncertain to some extent and that life certainly carries no certainty at all; however, a little bit of some kind of predictability would be a big blessing right about now.

Essentially though, I suppose all that is constant is hope. And I hope I've got it.

Inspired

On a very rainy, very foggy Saturday this past weekend, I was inspired by these paintings and painters I discovered at the Baltimore Museum of Art:

Marie Laurencin, Group of Artists, 1908

Egon Schiele, Old City I, 1912

Julia en France

After work today I plan on running to the Hampden branch of the Enoch Pratt Free Library to pick up some sound recordings of Julia Child entitled My Life in France. They are on hold for me and I am so, so excited!

Footnote: I'm mildly disappointed that the sound recordings do not feature Ms. Child herself, but another reader for her words.

Rainy Day Fridays - An Assualt to The Working Woman

I awoke to a nasty icy rain this morning and while driving to work in its mess I wondered if there is really anything worse than a rainy Monday morning? I surmised that possibly the only thing that could be worse is a rainy Friday morning. It's the just-missed chance, you see. The chance that, had Mother Nature waited another day to shed her tears, I could be really enjoying this morning in the warmth of my wonderful new flannel sheets (Thanks, Chan & Troy!) with the boys peacefully slumbering all around me. In addition, it's also the general nonchalance of a Friday. The, "come on I can blow this day off for rain, I mean, it's not like I'm going to do any real work today anyway," kind of mentality. But I'm here at work anyway, letting my gaze drift outside into the grayness, wishing it was Saturday and that I was still in my na-na's.